King of the Hill

I don't know how this post is going to turn out. It could be incredibly serious. It could be increasingly sarcastic. I don't even know what I'm going to write about.

Thoughts... I have a lot of them. I do a lot of thinking. A lot of thinking about some important things. A lot of thinking about nothing. Probably more thinking about nothing. This is unfortunate.

In my interactions with people, I probably strive to be more amiable. I hope to be funny and seek to be wanted. As I write this, I wonder if these thoughts should even be published for all to see. My more secret and personal of thoughts of course are recorded privately, away from technology. I guess I hope that my honesty and openness would speak to my reader. I often speak to be heard and repeat to be certain that someone is paying attention.

What use is that? What does that say about what I truly treasure? It's like a giant game of king of the hill with my heart.

Like everyone in this world, I am insecure. The odd thing is that when I am not thinking about myself, I am most secure. I worry. I try to control. I lie. All because I don't like who I am or I want things a certain way.  Who then is my god? It certainly isn't the one, true God. It is me. It is those around me. It is the very things that were created for me to enjoy.

There is nothing new under the sun. I am not the first to understand or think about these things. Because of that, I am a fool. So many of us know everything I am talking about. If I am vague, let me be clear.

Christians. We claim to follow the one, true God. Yet, we let other things in this life rule over us far before we let God take the wheel. Every action we perform is an outpouring of our heart and reflects who sits on its throne.

Every word that falls from my lips, every motion that my body performs, every instance that beckons my joy, reflects who or what reigns in my heart. Thank God for grace.

This might sound dumb, but Jesus knew what he was talking about with his response to the greatest commandment. Love the LORD your God with all of your heart, all of your mind, all of your soul, and all of your strength. The second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend the whole law and prophets. All the things we try to do to be right with God don't matter. If we love Him with all that we have, I think everything else will follow. My insecurities will fade. My joy will be found. Maybe my thoughts will tend to have purpose too.